Sample

I'm standing at the urinal at work, urinating.  My usual 10:30.

I hear the creak of the door and I'm thinking that I don't want to be stood next to - not that I mind greatly about being stood next to when I'm urinating, but the urinals at work are close together and one usually ends up touching some part of skin or garment of the neighbouring occupier making the whole experience thoroughly unpleasant.

The universe, as defiant as ever, causes the latest toilet entrant to come and stand by me.  He coughs and fumbles a while in his trouser department.  Out of my peripheral vision, I can only see a bald pate, emphasised by a small patch of vertically standing hair on the one side closest to me - the last remnants of a once proud comb-over.

My scalp studies are cut somewhat short by a short shocking sound somewhat like a small plastic tube being filled with a stream of water, a sudden panicked movement and an almost moon-walk like shuffle backwards by the subject of my eye corner peering.

I hear a quiet expletive uttered and, as i turn towards the sink I see him moving purposefully across the toilet carrying his urine sample tube like a trophy above his head while looking down at his khaki slacks.

As i'm washing my hands, I continue to watch him hold the yellow liquid container above his head while repeatedly thrusting his groin at the now rumbling hand dryer.  I finish washing my hands, use a paper towel to dry them and quickly dart past him as he thrusts forward yet again.

He looks at me, points to the tube above his head, then at his still mottled crotch and says, "piss".  

He shakes his head, "piss" he repeats sadly as he thrusts again.