Lego Icons 17:33

Check out the brilliantly inspired lego models of various characters.
All and Sundry are here:
Lego icons via notcot.org/

Family fun! 11:51

CRANE-FLY!

A fun new game for the whole family, Including Granma!
2-100 Players aged  5-105!

You will need:
An autumn night
A lit room with an external door
A stop watch

Start the game by searching the house for a Crane-fly / Daddy long legs.  Once a suitable specimen has been located the first player should open the external door and attempt to convince the creature to leave the house by any means necessary, short of ending the creature's life.

Once the winged beast has been safely evicted, start the stop watch.

Time the number of seconds it takes for the player to realise what a total and utter fecking moron they have been for opening that external door and multiply those number of seconds by the total number of extra creatures that have entered the house via the open door during the crane-fly extraction.  This is the score of the active player.  Highest score wins.

Mocking Elevator Control 13:52

I don't trust this fella.
Who would?
"Pressy, pressy. Button, button..."

recent email exchange 11:02

From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 11:19
To: Jones
Subject: Fridg

Jones, I’ve decided to buy a new fridge freezer. As you know, this is not a decision to be taken lightly, and budgetary constraints are a massive consideration. So, I have decided on these two to choose from. Which do you suggest?:

http://www.currys.co.uk/martprd/store/cur_page.jsp?BV_SessionID=@@@@0016660271.1242382606@@@@&BV_EngineID=ccceadehfeljeigcflgceggdhhmdfhj.0&page=Product&fm=4&sm=2&tm=0&sku=456410&category_oid=

http://www.currys.co.uk/martprd/store/cur_page.jsp?BV_SessionID=@@@@0016660271.1242382606@@@@&BV_EngineID=ccceadehfeljeigcflgceggdhhmdfhj.0&page=Product&fm=4&sm=2&tm=0&sku=887745&category_oid=

I think the second one myself.


From: Jones
Sent: 23 September 2009 11:21
To: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Subject: RE: Fridg

before I even look at the fridges in question.
explain why you need a new one.


From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 11:23
To: Jones
Subject: RE: Fridg


My current fridge has malfunctioned Jones, so time is short.


From: Jones
Sent: 23 September 2009 11:47
To: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Subject: RE: Fridg

I see.

The merits of the second one far outweigh the first one.
I believe the queen would appreciate the effort next time she's round.

WHO THE F*CK SPENDS £2K ON A FRIDGE?!?!?!?!!?!?


From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 11:48
To: Jones
Subject: RE: Fridg

Yes I’m just joking Jones. I’ll be looking to spend 200 quid max. Comet Clearance web site looks good.

From: Jones
Sent: 23 September 2009 11:56
To: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Subject: RE: Fridg

why don't you scrape all the ice out of your current refrigeration unit, keep it somewhere cold and use that to keep your food frozen?


From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 11:58
To: Jones
Subject: RE: Fridg

There is no ice in it you fool. The outside ambient temperature is above 8 degrees. Your ill-conceived plan fails on both accounts. Pay attention Jones!

From: Jones
Sent: 23 September 2009 13:03
To: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Subject: RE: Fridg


yes, I see.
Perhaps you could buy the ice then, from a supermarket?

From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 13:44
To: Jones
Subject: RE: Fridg

An excellent suggestion Jones, if I only needed to cool the food for a couple of hours. However, in order to maintain a sufficient level of refrigeration over a sustained period, the costs of your obviously well thought out plan would be astronomical. Let me elaborate.

Should I wish to cool 22 cubic litres of food produce to 2 degrees Celsius for an indefinite period, I could either use your idea, or buy a fridge.

Your idea would require 6 bags of ice from a supermarket at a cost of £1 each. Each bag would last approx 6 hours at an environmental ambient temperature of 14 degrees Celsius. So, a cost of £24 per day would be incurred.

If I bought a fridge for £200, assuming it had an energy efficiency rating of “B” or higher, the running costs would be 7.2pence per day at 1kw, even if the fridge was running the condenser for 24 hrs per day (highly unlikely if the device had achieved an energy rating of “B” or above).

So, after 9 days, your idea is going to cost me £23.92 per day above what the fridge would. Every day.

Do you understand Jones?

From: Jones
Sent: 23 September 2009 14:04
To: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Subject: RE: Fridg

I see.
But what you are not considering is that you would not have to buy new bags of ice every day. At most, you would need to buy 18 bags for a rotational system where you simply refreeze the melted bags using the 6 spare bags that you will have at any one time - 6 in the fridge, 6 melted and 6 refreezing the melted bags. This system could continue indefinitely if you are willing to put in a little time and effort - something I know that you often lack, effort especially.

I work out that the initial £18 layout is around only 9% of the cost of a fridge and would save you an astounding £20.27 per day after 9 days over the cost of a fridge.

Surely this is a better alternative?


From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 14:11
To: Jones
Subject: RE: Fridg

It would Jones if you had discovered a way to reuse the energy with 100% efficiency. How do you suggest I overcome the thermal wastage that will occur when using the frozen bags of water to refreeze the thawed bags, whilst at the same time maintaining a sufficient level of refrigeration for the food, and accounting for environmental effects from the ambient temperature of the room? Without additional cooling, I estimate that after accounting for such thermal wastage, your system will at best give an efficiency of around 6% to 8% on a typical day at this time of year. Clearly this is insufficient, unless there’s a gaping hole in my knowledge?


From: Jones
Sent: 23 September 2009 14:16
To: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Subject: RE: Fridg

I agree that that the rooms in your house may be a little warm for this rotational system. Why don't you turn the heating off in one of the rooms where you will store the melted and spare bags, saving yourself further money off the heating bill?

From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 14:21
To: Jones
Subject: RE: Fridg

Because, you imbecile, you cannot lower the temperature of the room below that of the temperature outside, without additional cooling (like a fridge!!)

Your ice will all melt away to f*ck all, just like all your other ridiculous ideas!!


From: Jones
Sent: 23 September 2009 14:26
To: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Subject: RE: Fridg

Alright. Calm down.

You could try opening a window in the room when it was cold outside, closing it when the room was sufficiently cool. I suggest doing this at night as the temperature outside is often warmer during the day. Of course, the ideal time to have done this would have been during the winter last year, but how were you to know your fridge would break?


From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 14:30
To: Jones
Subject: RE: Fridg


JONES!! You are an insufferable fool at times. Do you not grasp the simple concept of the seasons? What you should be doing is calculatorising a way to harness the coolness of winter and storing it all year round. That way nobody would need a fridge in the first place and I wouldn’t be in this predicament, yes?


From: Jones
Sent: 23 September 2009 14:36
To: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Subject: RE: Fridg

if you're going to be like that then I'm not going to help you any more.
f*ck you and f*ck your fridge.


From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 14:40
To: Jones
Subject: RE: Fridg


F*cking Hell Jones!! This debacle is a perfect example of how you alienate people!! Keep this email and read it from time to time, to remind you of just how big a c*nt you are!! I simply asked your opinion on which fridge I should purchase, and you turned it into an argument, which ended with you telling me to f*ck off. You are a massive c*nt, yes?

confusion 13:49

So a man is whistling in the kitchen as I eat my sandwich and read my book.
I see him most dinner times and occasionally we nod at each other in recognition of each other's presence.

He fills his glass up from the water cooling machine and turns to leave.

As he exits the kitchen, a hand appears from the side of the exit archway and pinches the man's arse. The hand is swiftly followed by the body and legs and balding head of another man.

The pincher turns to face me, grins manically and, holding the twisted smile in a sinister way,  rapidly follows his exiting prey down the corridor.

How is one supposed to react to a situation like that?
Seriously, what is the normal reaction?


I sit there a while, musing over what just occurred in front of me, trying to determine if the disquieting expression of the tushy torturer meant that I should be impressed by his jolly jape and join him in his bum hunt, or if it threatened that he was coming back for me once finished with his current mission.

Deciding that the risk of the latter being too great, I vacate the kitchen and repair to a safer, more highly populated office.

Battle lost 14:06

So the old sofa remains in our back garden.

I look at it with mild disdain and occasionally make token gestures of breaking it up by pulling off a further strip of material and peering inside it's bowels hoping for some as-yet-undiscovered treasure to present itself.

I think our neighbour has had enough of looking at it too. She hasn't mentioned it, only that a fox was 'living' in the shed next to it, but I know what she means.

Next to it, there is still a pile of debris from the chair I dismantled.

I convinced myself last night that if I moved this pile of wood, foam and dust filled faded material that my plan to get my life back on track would start there.

I put on some old trainers and approached the pile.

Lifting the top piece of chipboard, a large black spider peered back at me from his horrible vortex of a nest. I could see his eyes. He could probably see mine.

We stood looking at each other's eyes for around a minute or so - me trying to determine whether I would be able to remove him and carry the pile of chair remains to the car without a case of the screaming abdabs sneaking it's way up my spine, him just menacing me with his 8 glassy orbs like a spider shaped shark.

I decided to let him have his victory and lowered the chipboard.

You win spider. You win.

Review - Pearl Jam: Backspacer 12:33

Seems like things change pretty fast in this world - I remember like it was yesterday, some 13 years ago (13.  Good grief.), queuing outside of the music shop in Lichfield waiting for my copy of the latest album from who I thought were the best band in the world at the time.  Now I don't even know there is a new album coming out and only get a listen to the latest Pearl Jam album at work because a colleague has downloaded it and suggested I grab an ear full.

I started losing my faith in the Pearl Jam musical direction during the Binaural period, something just seemed to be going wrong, some horrible MOR elf had worked his clean living, Chevrolet driving, little fingers into the wires between Vedder & the boys brains and the mixing desk.  So my interest waned and I bought not another album from them, only occasionally hearing songs randomly played on other people's playlists - to much disappointment (damn you MOR elf!).

I'm not sure if I'm Backspacer is going to have me virtually queuing at the doors of the itunes store in anticipation for the next album, but it certainly goes some way to patching up the differences the former grunge gods have with my good self.

Harking back somewhat to those 13 years ago and the No Code days, the feel of the start of the album trundles along at quite a pace and has that light punkish sound in the vain of 'Spin the black circle' or 'Satan's bed' with the opening track being a great eye opener and 'The fixer' having a nice hook that I can see Seattle kids (or 30 something English Midlanders) bouncing along to quite happily.

The weakest song on the album for me is 'Johnny Guitar'.  All just a bit Rolling Stones meets Peter Gabriel by way of some twisted Devo for me.  That probably sounds awesome, but it just turns out to be mildly forgettable.

The album takes a turn with a couple of songs that sound like they came off 'Yield' and then back up to good old rock and roll bouncing along in a green army surplus shirt with the nicely guitar driven 'Supersonic'.

In typical fashion the album ends with some thoughtful and introspective Eddy Vedder crooning supported by guitar picking and strings.

I can't say I'm disappointed with the latest offering from my previous bestest band in the whole wide world - which is a good thing.  The album hangs together well and there is only one real boo boo on it.  Problem is that although it had me nodding my head and admitting that it was very good, I was still looking for something to appear that would remind me of the glory days - a 'Corduroy', a 'Nothing man', an 'Indifference'.  One can't of course hope to ever hear anything comparable to any track off 'Ten' - The band could never hope to achieve such heights again even if they sold their souls to Ticketmaster.  One stand out brilliant track would have done though.

Anyway, listenable - even a happiness bringing 9th studio album with toe tapping fun.

6.5/10

Zombie Pinups 13:23

Some top retro style work here by kristian hammerstad.
Zombie pinups and aliens.

Go take a look, I think I love it.

Via io9.com

moment of clarity 10:09

I seem to have overlooked something for the last 15 years. It turns out that by simply removing the candle from the holder, I have two objects and not one. Although this might cause problems when travelling on a plane, I am not, so cannot see any drawbacks whatsoever.

I found an old school photo of my class last night. I’m not on it. There’s someone in the photo that’s got my name against them, but it isn’t me. I don’t know why that is, and I don’t remember having the photo taken. I’ve put the picture next to the candle and the holder.

Sweet Vinyl Dreams 13:14

Just look at these awesome bed covers available @ Diesel.  Monochrome 1s and 2s with all your mixers and reel to reels included:

Man in the office #1 14:55

*Early Bowie voice required*

Man in the office with the crazy hair,
I'm glad you show such passion and flair.
No wonder people trip over your chair
Seeing your head, one needs to stare.

Did you come here by motorbike?
Helmetted down to your collar.
a victim of a balloony strike?
you static-ey mulletted feller.

Man in the office with the crazy hair,
looking like a greased up bear.
Man in the office with the crazy hair,
living life without a care.

Return of the pragmatic son 13:36

Well I survived Bestival again, no thanks to some mushrooms hidden in a steak pie.
Thought it was still a cracking time, although there seemed to be a lot more posh kids there than last year and not so many fancy dressers.

Top time was had by all - Lets hope it don't do a nosedive like Glasto

Highlights - Seasick Steve, Kraftwerk, Time for Tease

spoonless in a spoon filled world 15:02

Some woman just stole my spoon.

So I'm in the kitchen at work and I've just opened my tin of beans (baked) and poured them into my bowl.

As I open the cutlery drawer I hear an, "excuse me" from behind. I turn around to face the owner of the voice, unfortunately turning the wrong way - she darts to the right of me and whips the only spoon remaining from the kitchen cutlery container.

Me, being a polite lad, smile sweetly at her after I finally manage to point my field of vision in her general direction and let the spoon ninja walk away with her stainless steel swag - unbeknownst to me at this point.

So, happily smiling to myself I turn around to face an empty spoon compartment.
This is when the panic hits.

I mean one could, at a push, eat beans with a fork but this would result in a terrible bean to sauce ratio, causing dry bean mouth and a ridiculous amount of sauce waste that could not in any reasonable way be dealt with by bread moppage. The other alternative would be (if one automatically rejects the knife as a absurd bean recovery utensil) is to use a teaspoon. Imagine eating beans with a teaspoon. Now try and imagine something more ridiculous.

I'm just hoping the day will improve because I'm not sure it could get any worse.

rabies 16:29

Caught the missus in an alternative spelling comptition the other day at our local doctors.

Tiger 14:16

So my mate saw a tiger directing traffic the other day, no word of a lie. He denies it now of course, but I know better.

The tiger was just standing at the roadside pointing its paws in various directions and making car noises until a community support officer appeared and guided it away. By this point a crowd had gathered and this one guy calls the tiger a freak.

As the tiger is being lead away, he turns to the guy and says, "Where are you all going?"

I Eat the Sun 10:33

"I also eat the sun," Hatoyama said on the program, looking up with her eyes closed, raising her arms high as if she was tearing pieces off an imaginary sun. "Like this, hum, hum, hum. It gives me enormous energy."

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32659678/ns/world_news-asiapacific/

why so many? 00:15

WHY???  WHY?????

Lenor Vs. Barlow update 22:45

7

6

POWK! 12:29

We called em "Powks" in our house and my mother would cure them by rubbing them with a gold wedding ring.  Seems the rest of the world calls them Styes.

Powk or Stye?

Website Logo v1.0 00:09

now with extra splats and scratches -

Also working on an icon for a "zombies" scetion -

"The Waddon", Waddon 00:03