recent email exchange

From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 11:19
To: Jones
Subject: Fridg

Jones, I’ve decided to buy a new fridge freezer. As you know, this is not a decision to be taken lightly, and budgetary constraints are a massive consideration. So, I have decided on these two to choose from. Which do you suggest?:

http://www.currys.co.uk/martprd/store/cur_page.jsp?BV_SessionID=@@@@0016660271.1242382606@@@@&BV_EngineID=ccceadehfeljeigcflgceggdhhmdfhj.0&page=Product&fm=4&sm=2&tm=0&sku=456410&category_oid=

http://www.currys.co.uk/martprd/store/cur_page.jsp?BV_SessionID=@@@@0016660271.1242382606@@@@&BV_EngineID=ccceadehfeljeigcflgceggdhhmdfhj.0&page=Product&fm=4&sm=2&tm=0&sku=887745&category_oid=

I think the second one myself.


From: Jones
Sent: 23 September 2009 11:21
To: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Subject: RE: Fridg

before I even look at the fridges in question.
explain why you need a new one.


From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 11:23
To: Jones
Subject: RE: Fridg


My current fridge has malfunctioned Jones, so time is short.


From: Jones
Sent: 23 September 2009 11:47
To: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Subject: RE: Fridg

I see.

The merits of the second one far outweigh the first one.
I believe the queen would appreciate the effort next time she's round.

WHO THE F*CK SPENDS £2K ON A FRIDGE?!?!?!?!!?!?


From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 11:48
To: Jones
Subject: RE: Fridg

Yes I’m just joking Jones. I’ll be looking to spend 200 quid max. Comet Clearance web site looks good.

From: Jones
Sent: 23 September 2009 11:56
To: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Subject: RE: Fridg

why don't you scrape all the ice out of your current refrigeration unit, keep it somewhere cold and use that to keep your food frozen?


From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 11:58
To: Jones
Subject: RE: Fridg

There is no ice in it you fool. The outside ambient temperature is above 8 degrees. Your ill-conceived plan fails on both accounts. Pay attention Jones!

From: Jones
Sent: 23 September 2009 13:03
To: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Subject: RE: Fridg


yes, I see.
Perhaps you could buy the ice then, from a supermarket?

From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 13:44
To: Jones
Subject: RE: Fridg

An excellent suggestion Jones, if I only needed to cool the food for a couple of hours. However, in order to maintain a sufficient level of refrigeration over a sustained period, the costs of your obviously well thought out plan would be astronomical. Let me elaborate.

Should I wish to cool 22 cubic litres of food produce to 2 degrees Celsius for an indefinite period, I could either use your idea, or buy a fridge.

Your idea would require 6 bags of ice from a supermarket at a cost of £1 each. Each bag would last approx 6 hours at an environmental ambient temperature of 14 degrees Celsius. So, a cost of £24 per day would be incurred.

If I bought a fridge for £200, assuming it had an energy efficiency rating of “B” or higher, the running costs would be 7.2pence per day at 1kw, even if the fridge was running the condenser for 24 hrs per day (highly unlikely if the device had achieved an energy rating of “B” or above).

So, after 9 days, your idea is going to cost me £23.92 per day above what the fridge would. Every day.

Do you understand Jones?

From: Jones
Sent: 23 September 2009 14:04
To: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Subject: RE: Fridg

I see.
But what you are not considering is that you would not have to buy new bags of ice every day. At most, you would need to buy 18 bags for a rotational system where you simply refreeze the melted bags using the 6 spare bags that you will have at any one time - 6 in the fridge, 6 melted and 6 refreezing the melted bags. This system could continue indefinitely if you are willing to put in a little time and effort - something I know that you often lack, effort especially.

I work out that the initial £18 layout is around only 9% of the cost of a fridge and would save you an astounding £20.27 per day after 9 days over the cost of a fridge.

Surely this is a better alternative?


From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 14:11
To: Jones
Subject: RE: Fridg

It would Jones if you had discovered a way to reuse the energy with 100% efficiency. How do you suggest I overcome the thermal wastage that will occur when using the frozen bags of water to refreeze the thawed bags, whilst at the same time maintaining a sufficient level of refrigeration for the food, and accounting for environmental effects from the ambient temperature of the room? Without additional cooling, I estimate that after accounting for such thermal wastage, your system will at best give an efficiency of around 6% to 8% on a typical day at this time of year. Clearly this is insufficient, unless there’s a gaping hole in my knowledge?


From: Jones
Sent: 23 September 2009 14:16
To: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Subject: RE: Fridg

I agree that that the rooms in your house may be a little warm for this rotational system. Why don't you turn the heating off in one of the rooms where you will store the melted and spare bags, saving yourself further money off the heating bill?

From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 14:21
To: Jones
Subject: RE: Fridg

Because, you imbecile, you cannot lower the temperature of the room below that of the temperature outside, without additional cooling (like a fridge!!)

Your ice will all melt away to f*ck all, just like all your other ridiculous ideas!!


From: Jones
Sent: 23 September 2009 14:26
To: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Subject: RE: Fridg

Alright. Calm down.

You could try opening a window in the room when it was cold outside, closing it when the room was sufficiently cool. I suggest doing this at night as the temperature outside is often warmer during the day. Of course, the ideal time to have done this would have been during the winter last year, but how were you to know your fridge would break?


From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 14:30
To: Jones
Subject: RE: Fridg


JONES!! You are an insufferable fool at times. Do you not grasp the simple concept of the seasons? What you should be doing is calculatorising a way to harness the coolness of winter and storing it all year round. That way nobody would need a fridge in the first place and I wouldn’t be in this predicament, yes?


From: Jones
Sent: 23 September 2009 14:36
To: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Subject: RE: Fridg

if you're going to be like that then I'm not going to help you any more.
f*ck you and f*ck your fridge.


From: Kai - Last of the Brunen-G
Sent: 23 September 2009 14:40
To: Jones
Subject: RE: Fridg


F*cking Hell Jones!! This debacle is a perfect example of how you alienate people!! Keep this email and read it from time to time, to remind you of just how big a c*nt you are!! I simply asked your opinion on which fridge I should purchase, and you turned it into an argument, which ended with you telling me to f*ck off. You are a massive c*nt, yes?