Family fun! 11:51

CRANE-FLY!

A fun new game for the whole family, Including Granma!
2-100 Players aged  5-105!

You will need:
An autumn night
A lit room with an external door
A stop watch

Start the game by searching the house for a Crane-fly / Daddy long legs.  Once a suitable specimen has been located the first player should open the external door and attempt to convince the creature to leave the house by any means necessary, short of ending the creature's life.

Once the winged beast has been safely evicted, start the stop watch.

Time the number of seconds it takes for the player to realise what a total and utter fecking moron they have been for opening that external door and multiply those number of seconds by the total number of extra creatures that have entered the house via the open door during the crane-fly extraction.  This is the score of the active player.  Highest score wins.

rabies 16:29

Caught the missus in an alternative spelling comptition the other day at our local doctors.

I Eat the Sun 10:33

"I also eat the sun," Hatoyama said on the program, looking up with her eyes closed, raising her arms high as if she was tearing pieces off an imaginary sun. "Like this, hum, hum, hum. It gives me enormous energy."

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32659678/ns/world_news-asiapacific/

POWK! 12:29

We called em "Powks" in our house and my mother would cure them by rubbing them with a gold wedding ring.  Seems the rest of the world calls them Styes.

Powk or Stye?

Mythical knowhow 13:57

Now you will know what you are slaughtering on your quest:

Mythical creatures Venn diagram

Nun 10:49

I look in the rear view mirror. There's a nun in the car behind me.
She's eating.

I spend the next 10 minutes in a traffic jam trying to see what she is devouring. Every time I look, she's chewing, glaring directly at my reflected eyes and I miss the food being passed into her wrinkled mouth.

It's difficult to stare directly into the eyes of a nun, especially one that's eating. My eyes instinctively flick away from hers and when I dare to return my gaze, the answer to my query has vanished again into the nun's gullet.

Eventually the traffic moves forward but suddenly comes to a halt, causing the nun to slam on her brakes and, caught off guard, the nun gives away the mystery by spitting it onto the dash board whilst coughing crumbs.

Its a Viennese whirl.

I win, Nun.

Mike check, one, two... 11:02

A 2008 study reported that ripe bananas exhibit a blue fluorescence when exposed to ultraviolet light. This property is attributed to the degradation of chlorophyll giving rise to the accumulation of a fluorescent product in the skin of the fruit.